Fresh Start Fitness

When I was growing up in the nineties, I knew that my mom would sometimes do cardio (Jazzercise), but I only knew it was for the purpose of losing weight. I never saw or knew about women lifting weights (but she does now, and she deadlifts 150 pounds!). My mom did a great job of modeling healthy activities of daily living: we would often take a walk after dinner, kick a soccer ball around at the park, ride our bikes to the library, or go rollerblading.

I can remember being in fifth or sixth grade and one of the neighborhood kids told me my dad was “fat”. I honestly did not notice if he was or not, he always just looked like my dad to me. But one of the worst things I ever did happened a few years later, when I was in eighth grade and my dad told me he had started trying to run 400 meters on the track across the street from our house; I rolled my eyes and said sarcastically, “Coooool”. He died less than a year later and that conversation still haunts me.

When I was at my heaviest weight, I felt tired all the time. I would get home from work and only have the energy to crash on the couch. When my middle son was trying to learn how to ride his bike, I would dread helping him because I couldn’t keep up trying to run next to his bike.

I have asked my kids how they felt about me when I was “fat” — were they embarrassed? Like me with my dad, they tell me they never even noticed if I was or not. To them, I’ve always just looked like their mom. But our lives are different in many ways now that they have a fit mom.

I practice healthier boundaries of self-care, which means I’m not at their beck and call since I prioritize my own needs as well as theirs. I will carve out time to get in my exercise. I don’t feel as intimidated to walk up to a group of thin women at their school or sporting events and introduce myself. I have more energy and motivation to keep my house clean, so I let them have their friends over for play dates and camp-outs in the backyard.

We enjoy new activities together as a family, like long bike rides on the trail. We have a kayak and a canoe that we take out when we go camping. We run Turkey Trots together on Thanksgiving morning instead of watching the Macy’s parade (it’s okay to swap out traditions to make new ones that align with your own family goals).

I have three active sons and I will never be able to fully appreciate the pull of organized sports and how important it is to their lives. They don’t enjoy a lot of my hobbies like refinishing antique furniture, or literature, but my boys acknowledge and appreciate that I am an athlete. I love that we can bond over fitness and that they are excited and proud when I accomplish something that they think is impressive.

My favorite and most profound moment was when I ran my marathon and my middle son held a sign that he wrote, “You inspire me”. My son has mild cerebral palsy from a brain injury during birth and he’s the hardest working, most determined person I know. How ironic, and incredible, that he finds me inspiring.