Fresh Start Fitness

You know it: “Treat others the way you want to be treated.” I don’t disagree— if you want to live in a society where people don’t lie, cheat, or steal, then you also have to be someone who doesn’t lie, cheat, or steal. But the rule I missed growing up is this one: “Treat yourself the way you want others to treat you.”

When my kids come home from their first day of school, I want to greet them at the door with a spread of snacks and hear about their day. I want them to sit down and decompress and rest. I don’t give myself the same space to relax and rest at the end of the day.

I have been known to make my kids eat a nutritious and fueling breakfast while I sneak a pop-tart from the pantry for myself. Cardboard covered in frosting— no nutritional value— I deem worthy of putting in myself, but don’t feel good about giving to them. Why? Why do I tell them they can’t drink pop for breakfast while I get myself a McMuffin from the drive-through?

I would never tell my kids, “you don’t have time to exercise today” or “you don’t have time to shower today.” Because those are good, healthy, wonderful things for humans to do. But I deny myself those things all the time when I’m overwhelmed.

The more I work with women, the more I see that women often love others more than they love themselves. They sacrifice themselves and deny themselves the good things they deserve for the sake of their family. And it’s not noble— it’s destructive to themselves and their family. Their mental and physical health suffers for it.

Not only do women deserve the time, space, and energy that they give to others, they also deserve to talk to themselves the way they talk to others. I was competing in a Deka Strong competition with a friend recently who got down on herself and said, “I can’t do this, I’m so slow, I’m sorry…” Would my kind, loving friend ever say that to me or anyone else? Would she ever expect someone else to apologize to her for being “slow” during a fitness completion? Why do we continue to talk to ourselves in ways we would not talk to a friend, a spouse, or our own child? With kindness, encouragement, and confidence!

I know it’s easier said than done to change the way you think about yourself and your value. So even if you don’t believe it yet, start with the way you talk to and about yourself. Start telling yourself that you can do things even if you have doubts. Make yourself whole, healing, delicious food to eat even when your family isn’t around. Carve out time to exercise even if it means people have to wait. Treat yourself the way you treat others— you’re worth it.