Fresh Start Fitness

One of the worst things about myself is the way I judge people by their eating habits. Here’s the ugly part of my heart on display: when I watch someone who is overweight eating something “unhealthy”, I start feeling something like moral superiority. This has deep roots that I can trace back to childhood, it’s nothing new, except that now I’m aware I’m doing it and I made a consorted effort to change my mindset.

Since I have grown up with this moral superiority complex related to eating habits, I also hyper-impose that other people judge me the same way. That’s why I’ll shove treats into my mouth from the privacy of my pantry when no one is watching. My drive-through order is different depending on who is in the car with me. I love to tell people about my healthy food choices and I conveniently leave out my “snaccidents”. My relationship with food is deeply intertwined with morality in the worst way.

As I have investigated this trait within myself, I have come to a few conclusions. First, is that food/fitness/health means different things to different people, at different times in their lives. Someone who isn’t disciplined with healthy eating habits might be working more hours than I am (short on time), financially driven to buy “cheap” food (short on money), unaware of what nutritional choices to make or how to make them. Maybe their mental health sucks and they are desperately trying to stay alive. You don’t know what you don’t know. Those same people have other knowledge, skills, and resources from which I can learn. I am deeply convinced that all of us, every single one of us, is doing our best with what we have.

The more I learn about behavior change, fitness, nutrition, and human beings in general convinces me of how much I don’t know. Every person is so unique in how they grew up and their relationship with food and their body. The way they think, feel, and express are unique to them. People cannot be painted with a wide brush.

If you feel like you “can’t figure out” fitness/nutrition/how to make changes/how to be someone new, I understand that frustration. It feels like I’m always trying to reinvent myself. I encourage you first to take a deep dive into yourself: what is good about yourself? Not “what’s okay”. I mean what about you is worth celebrating? If you don’t know, ask a dear friend or family member and then thoughtfully consider what they have to say.

The only way to make lasting changes to yourself is if it’s an act of love to yourself. You can’t hate yourself into eating better. Self-loathing isn’t motivating. Comparing yourself to someone you know in real life or online is how you set yourself up to fail. You don’t want to be like them if it means losing wonderful things about you. Know what’s great about you and use that as the fuel to light the fire of behavior change.

I’ll say one other thing about this in plain English in case my eloquent writing glossed over it too quickly: being thin is not the pathway to heaven. Some of the best, most loving, beautiful people I know are unhealthy in their lifestyle habits. The fitness industry as a whole “sells” you the lie that you are disgusting, ignorant, lazy, etc. You have to start with believing your beautiful soul and the body it inhabits is worth the investment. Love yourself and use your positive skills and traits, don’t give them up in pursuit of being thin. You can do it.