Fresh Start Fitness

When I was a teenager and into my early twenties, I maintained a thin physique, primarily because of my youthful metabolism. I was not a regular exerciser and was unconcerned about nutrition and long-term health goals. Shortly after I got married was the first time I really noticed a considerable weight gain and change in my body shape and size: my clothes weren’t fitting the same and the scale was going up. In retrospect, it is unsurprising that I was getting less healthy, since I was not prioritizing my health at all. However, I also recall that during that time I was focusing my efforts on other causes: we were newlyweds, I was still in college and we were barely able to pay our bills. I was prideful in spending as little as possible at the grocery store (I’m still prideful about that, actually), making blue box mac and cheese, hot dogs, and beans for dinner because it was cheap, even though it was limited in nutritional value. We ate frozen pizzas with our other newlywed friends while we played cards, and my husband and I would borrow DVDs from the library as our cheap entertainment. I look back at that time and also remember investing in a lot of other good things, even if my physical health was not on my radar: we were involved in church, both of us were taking higher education courses, and we were saving money for our first house. 

Shortly into the newlywed years, I got pregnant with my first son. I gained more than enough weight than was necessary, and enjoyed the time to eat a carton of ice cream and blame it on the pregnancy. I struggled to lose the baby weight after the pregnancy (mostly because I didn’t try). A few years later, I gained again through my second pregnancy, now about 70 pounds heavier than I was at the time I got married. The birth of my second son was the first time I considered my overall, long-term health. I worried about being around for them as they grew up. I felt like my lack of energy was affecting my parenting as I struggled to chase around after two young boys. I dreaded taking them to the pool and wearing a bathing suit in front of people. 

In 2015, I made my first real attempt to lose weight. I joined a biggest loser contest with my extended family in preparation for a family vacation, and I tracked my food intake on MyFitnessPal. I started running, which was the cheapest and most accessible exercise I knew how to do. I lost about 30 pounds from dieting and exercise! I ran regularly for 9 months, even completing a half-marathon! But as soon as the half-marathon was over, I stopped running completely. I started working full-time at a very sedentary job with a long commute. My diet suffered again, this time not necessarily because of our limited budget, but my limited time. I was desperate to spend every moment I could taking care of my kids and my house, so shopping, food preparation, cooking, and packing food for work days was a low priority. I started eating in the cafeteria at work for breakfast and lunch. I would swing by the drive-through after work to pick up dinner. 

In June 2021, I delivered my third son and weighed my all-time high: 230 pounds. I wore size 18-20 pants and XXL shirts. My blood pressure was consistently high and in chart notes from my doctor appointments it was documented that I had “pregnancy complicated by obesity”. When I walked past my reflection in a window, I didn’t recognize it as myself. I was exhausted all the time. I would walk into a room and immediately imagine that everyone could tell right away about me that I was overwhelmed, stressed, and undisciplined. I remember doing laundry and holding up a pair of my own underwear and feeling humiliated at how big they were. Shopping for clothes was depressing.

Immediately after the birth of my son, I could sense it was time to make changes that would stick. I was breastfeeding and had no idea how many calories I needed each day, so I tracked my food on MyFitnessPal like I did before but didn’t necessarily try to stay within a calorie goal. Instead, I focused on learning about the quality of food I was eating. Like a bank account, watching the calories, fat, sugar, and salt add up visually in the app was humbling. I pushed the stroller around my neighborhood and was elated the first time I walked two miles. At 6 weeks postpartum, I started slowly jogging. I literally felt the weight lifting off me every time I went out to walk or jog.

One year later, I was back at what felt like a normal weight for me: 170 pounds. I could run about 5 miles, keep up with my kids, and I was making much healthier choices in the kitchen. I was proud of my accomplishments, and also curious: could I do more? If I could, should I do more? I continued running, a little bit farther and a little bit faster, while I wondered if I had any additional fitness goals. 

A friend invited me to try a class at her gym, a locally owned, female-focused gym called Corefit. I attended a high intensity interval training class with her and instantly loved the feeling of camaraderie with the other women. The instructor of the class was inspiring. The workout was hard and I was sore for days. I was surprised to find that I loved how it felt, even though it hurt! I continued to attend classes, both cardio and resistance training. I also started to learn how to workout at home, watching YouTube and using 5 pound dumbbells that I got secondhand at Play It Again Sports. After a few months, I noticed more defined muscles in my arms.

The most drastic change, however, was not happening to my arms or my abs. It was my brain. The feelings of confidence and strength that I got from lifting weights were starting to take root in my soul. Suddenly, I felt like I could walk into a bank and ask for a loan to start a business. Go back to college and become a brain surgeon. Run a marathon! Being physically strong had a direct effect on how I felt about myself and not just my body, but who I was as a person.

That brings me to who I am today in this ever-changing journey to wellness: now I’m a certified personal trainer and group fitness instructor. Seven months ago I ran my first marathon! Six months ago I had plastic surgery to remove three and half pounds of loose skin hanging off of my belly area. I have learned to love exercise. I’ve heard others describe exercise as their “drug”. For me, it’s more like air.

I always like to end my fitness classes with one of the many quotes or mantras that has stuck with me and today’s is a quote from C.S. Lewis: “You can’t go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending.”

Thanks for reading and learning. I hope my story inspires you on your own journey to wellness!

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